Until Next Time
by Emily Mayers
Summary: Jesse and Rachel's final conversation after season 1, regionals. Even if it wasn't on glee, it may have happened. These two deserve a real ending. Or maybe a begining...?


**A/N: I'm very disappointed with the way glee handled the Jesse/Rachel. This is one example of a conversation they should have had, and if people like it I will write more. One for each season maybe, since Jesse has appeared in every season finale to date.**

**Disclaimer: if glee was mine, THIS WOULD BE REAL. But no, its not mine… **

I was in my dressing room with vocal adrenaline; we had just preformed and did a fantastic job. Somewhere during my performance I saw Rachel watching. It was kind of hard to miss because she was standing in the middle of the crowd. I wonder why she was alone. I feel pretty bad actually. She was really nice, and I kind of liked her, but after the whole 'Run Joey run' scenario I realized I had to focus on what I was sent to do, and stop taking it too seriously. I mean I should have expected something like that would happen. She _is _Shelby's daughter after all. So when I came back, I got her to listen to the tape and I returned to vocal adrenaline. What I didn't expect was for Shelby to give up on their relationship like that and tell her she can't be her mom. After making me manipulate and hurt her way I did, to just disappoint her like that again was just wrong. When I talked to Shelby about this she insisted that it was fine, and she was still talking to Rachel and that she was okay with it, but I'm not entirely sure. And after all of that, I egged her. Giselle insisted that it would make me feel better, which now that I think about it was utterly ridiculous, why would I feel good after egging the girl? Anyway I agreed, because she said it would make me look better in front of my team and they would give me the 'Bohemian Rhapsody' solo, but now I know it wasn't right. Not to mention the fact it didn't help one bit, because though I would never admit it to any of my team mates, they did a fantastic job up there. The stage really is made for Rachel, she is bound to make it big one day.

"Jesse? Jesse!" I was so caught up in my own thoughts I hadn't noticed Giselle was trying to get my attention.

"Oh, uh… what?" Giselle was really getting on my nerves lately; she has been following me everywhere in the past week and always trying to talk to me. It was beginning to get a bit annoying.

"Why are you so quiet? You haven't said a word since we got off stage." She asked curiously.

"I, um, I'm just worn out after that last number." I lied. Sure, I was a bit tired, but I was mostly just thinking about Rachel.

"I'm going to go talk to Shelby, I'll be back soon" I said and I walked out of the room. I was walking to where Shelby was, when I saw on the far end of the hallway someone just sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall staring at what's in front of her.

It was Rachel.

I was considering maybe I should just walk away, but I knew nobody would see us talking anyway, and I just couldn't stand seeing her like that, with that blank expression on her face. I had to come over there, see if there was anything I could say to make her feel better about what was bothering her. I walked down the hallway, and when I thought that I was close enough for her to notice me, I slumped against the same wall she was leaning on and just sat there. I occasionally turned my head to see if she was looking at me, but she just kept staring at the wall.

It must have been a few minutes, but eventually she spoke.

"Quinn had her baby" she whispered loud enough for me to hear. I sighed in my head, happy that she was talking, although I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Why would she behave like this because Quinn was having her baby?

"That's great" I quietly stated. I took a quick look at her; she had her legs crossed with that still blank expression, only now her head was tilted a tiny bit to the side. There was a long pause before she took a deep breath and spoke again.

"It's a girl" _oh_. That's probably why she's here alone; she didn't want to be there because it would make her feel even worse. _Damn._

Now I really didn't know what to say. I just sat there and stared at the wall, just like she was. I felt so bad about everything now, how everything that was happening around her was affecting her.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until she finally spoke up again.

"Did you think it was right?" she quietly asked. I could hear her voice shaking a little so I looked at her again. She sat exactly the same and still stared at the wall, but her expression wasn't blank anymore, it was just sad.

"I know you dated me so I would meet Shelby, but did you think it was the right thing to do?"

I thought about it for a few seconds, and I decided that just telling her the truth and sparing her any more lies would be best.

"At first I did" I started. "But when you refused to listen to the tape, I realized maybe I was wrong. Maybe all of this was just hurting you. I told Shelby I didn't want you to get hurt, but she just told me it was going to reunite you two and that I had to encourage you to listen to it. That it was for your best". I looked at her sympathetically and waited to see if she was going to look at me too. But she didn't, she just kept looking forward. I sighed and turned my head towards the wall as well. We were both quiet again but this time it took her a little bit less time to say something back.

"You were right" she said. "I did get hurt".

I wasn't entirely sure where this conversation was going, but I kind of got the point of what she was trying to say. Shelby and I hurt her, and we did it bad. No matter how much I though it wasn't the right thing to do, it doesn't change the fact that we did it.

Though she proved to us that we couldn't break her, I know we still affected her, and maybe she can get over me, but what happened with Shelby was something that she wouldn't be able to forget. She was her mother after all. But that was all she was ever going to be.

"If it helps, I really cared about you. I just have this connection with Shelby; I never really had someone like that to be there for me. My parents are never around and as far as I'm concerned, Shelby is like a parent to me. She looks out for me. I thought I was making her happy, but she's not exactly feeling so great about how this whole situation turned out either." I don't know why I said that. I realized that I probably made her feel worse at that moment, but I just felt like I should get that out there. We were quiet for a while, but I saw her softening up a little and she looked down at her lap. "Why? It's not like she cares." She turned her head towards me. "She made it very clear she doesn't want anything to do with me"

"Why would you say that?" this didn't make a lot of sense to me. Shelby said she was going to still keep in touch with her and talk to her. Why would Rachel think she doesn't care?

"She said she wants a real family, meaning I'm not included. She's tossing me aside so she can live a normal life".

I couldn't believe it, after everything that happened, Shelby is just going to give up and forget about her. I mean I knew she wasn't going to coach vocal adrenaline anymore, but I never thought about why. She said she quit because she was too focused on vocal adrenaline and she wanted to start focusing on more important things, and I thought that meant she wanted to focus on Rachel. But no, she just wanted to forget about her too.

I was speechless. I think Rachel was expecting me to say something, but I didn't even notice. I just sat there with my mouth hanging slightly open and I stared in front of me. I realized what I was doing, but the only thing I could possibly say at this point was:

"I'm so sorry".

I hope she understood what it meant. That I only did it because I was hoping she would benefit it, but she didn't. she was a mess and it was mainly my fault. I should have been there. Why did I egg her again? I can't even remember anymore. All I can think of was how stupid that was. She has her glee club, and of course they pulled her out of her funk and now she was much better, but I needed to apologize. It was important if she was going to get over what Shelby did, not to mention what I did.

"I know" she whispered. She got up and so did I.

"Good luck" she said, the corners of her mouth slightly rose.

"You too" I replied, and she turned around and I watched her walk away. Only after a few seconds did I turn around and walk away too.

They lost. New directions lost. Only after we all got off the stage with our huge trophy did I understand what that meant. The club was disbanded. I remember Mr. Schue talking about this while I learned at McKinley. I knew how much glee club meant to all of them, and it killed me to look at Rachel's face when I saw them go on the bus back to school. She looked so sad, so broken. But she's talented and strong. I know she's going places and who knows, maybe she'll be on broadway.

Who am I kidding? Of course _we _will.

**Read and review! Means a lot to me… THANKS!**


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